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Embarrassing moments

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dbdb
In: Birmingham
Posts: 49
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A SIMPLE check that your wife has not accidentally left Flash Toilet Wipes on top of the cistern instead of the usual Andrex moist bum wipes will avoid cross words and marital discord.

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dbdb @ 04/02/2007 15:34

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
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i'd just laugh

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Di @ 05/02/2007 06:08

witchiest
In: hinckley
Posts: 1570
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very very very clean botty then!!

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witchiest @ 05/02/2007 06:51

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
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do they sting then dbdb?

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Di @ 05/02/2007 10:31

rubecula
In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991
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ROFL I could imagine the shrieks.

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rubecula @ 05/02/2007 14:32

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
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godang i'm bored. this was funny tho: This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:Dear Mrs. Murray,While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.Below isa list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillancecameras:1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"usingdifferent size funnels.12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."And; last, but not least:14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."Yours sincerely,Charles BrownStore Manager

godang i'm bored.  this was funny tho:

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:Dear Mrs. Murray,While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.Below isa list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillancecameras:1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"usingdifferent size funnels.12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."And; last, but not least:14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."Yours sincerely,Charles BrownStore Manager

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Di @ 08/02/2007 11:36

rubecula
In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991
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rubecula @ 08/02/2007 12:29

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
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Have to hold me hands up to No. 2 and No. 11

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Di @ 08/02/2007 13:40

rubecula
In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991
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I'm saying nowt.

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rubecula @ 08/02/2007 21:34

storm
In: derbyshire
Posts: 2326
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was just thinking about the bum wipes good job they wernt nail varnish wipes............................ good one di would luv to see anyone doing those would make shopping funny for a change !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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storm @ 09/02/2007 18:35

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
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normally i behave storm but on the odd occasion i think me brain has an electrical shortage lol

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Di @ 10/02/2007 10:48

storm
In: derbyshire
Posts: 2326
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electrical shortages are good for the soul !!!!!!!!!!!

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storm @ 13/02/2007 09:59

Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
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Best thing that happend to me recently that made me laugh I'm a Environmental warden and part of me duties is catching dog foulers (no puns please lol) We knew a lass had picked up the first time but couldn't see what she had done with the bag of poo Well the dog fouled again and she just walked away so we approached her. i asked her what she done with the back.......... she pulled it out and said it was keeping her hands warm EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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Deleted Member @ 13/02/2007 13:42