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General Chat/Anything Goes

Honesty?

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Honesty?

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So what do people think about the saying honesty is the best policy ? Is it better to always be truthful weather it hurts or not ? Or do you prefer to lie ? Just on my mind today as lost another friend due to them being dishonest and lying whilst using physcology on others to make them believe the lies. I personally find this annoying and wont tolerate it. ARE THERE ANY TRUELY HONEST PEOPLE LEFT OUT THERE ?

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 13:22  

the truth will set u free

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kaycat @ 21/06/2011 13:29  

Sorry to hear about your friend/ex-friend. It's a good saying but I'm not sure it's workable 100% in reality. Unfortunately being totally honest all the time doesn't directly mean that you're a good person. I like to think I'm a pretty straight up guy but if it'll avoid hurting someone or pissing someone off, or to protect a friend then I'll lie when I have to. A recent example - a friend came round and said 'do you know why (mrs x) isn't drinking' I lied and said I didn't know because she doesn't want everyone knowing she's in the pudding club. A lie but no guilt! And no it's not mine! Being deliberately deceitful to further your own ends at another persons expense is a different ball game alltogether!! Is there any chance your friend thought they were doing the right thing?

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Half Baked Henry @ 21/06/2011 13:32  

There's plenty of truthful people here, myself included. I prefer to be honest with people, but it depends on the situation. Living in Holland now I find the Dutch to be very forward, especially in the workplace. Dutch guys say what they think, they don't hold back. If they think you're doing a crap job they will say it bluntly to each other. But, in England, I find us Brits to be much more restrained as we don't like to create a bad atmosphere in the workplace (especially in offices). Colleagues will generally refrain from saying what they think to your face, instead saying it behind your back. Which is best? I don't know... depends on the individual. I don't like a bad atmosphere, so I don't always tell people what I think about them. Not exactly lying I know. The same could apply if you just didn't tell your friend something because you wanted to save the friendship. Doesn't mean they're lying, just that they value the friendship.

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Matt @ 21/06/2011 13:36  

kAYCAT I totally agree with you. H.B.H I understand what you are saying but still believe in the policy. Just to let you know my ex-friend is aware that what she is doing is wrong but is continuing regardless. Cant go into details but very nasty. Matt Sometimes small white lies can protect others as you say, I suppose you could call it the safe option. me presonally blunt and to the point no lying, what you see is what you get. Ask me a question and brace yourself knowing you will be given the truth as I perceive it.

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 13:51  

I admit it I'm honest
Matt the difference being in the uk workplace or mine at least, I work as a supervisor and have to tell people what to do, when to do it ( they're incapable of thinking for themselves) and if I have a go at them about it they are in there to my boss with flipping complaints. I have to be very careful how I approach things otherwise I'm in the poo myself, I always have to change their negativity into a positive. It does my head in sometimes cos I would much rather tell them straight that they are doing a crap job and if it carries on that way they're out the door looking for another job. Using psychology to influence how someone behaves is a big no no especially when it only gives a gain to one person, using it to encourage say a teenager or something like that into changing their behavior could be justified so long as it doesn't go beyond and is not a blatant lie.

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wheelbarrow @ 21/06/2011 13:51  

well said wheelbarrow

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 14:00  

LIARS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT OUT IN THE END........that's what i think. The worst thing is when someone pretends they never said something when they actually did!! that's what grinds my gears. And when you give someone the opportunity to tell you the truth and they 'STILL' lie to you. *EVERYONE BITCHES* that's a true point......And which no-one can deny.... But being honest is important as it means trust, and if theirs no trust there is no point..... So don't lie.........SIMPLESSSSSSSS =D

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YamahaStacey @ 21/06/2011 14:34  

Just ... your my long lost twin


I was raised in Germany & like the Dutch its a call it as you see it society, Ian is always telling me that subtle is not just a shade of paint !


Its not always liked, however those who know me day to day know that its not done with malice, and I think that is the difference, they will accept that no matter what I will speak my mind, call it as I see it, and that they can do the same, so long as there is nothing malicious said, everyone gets on.


However more & more in the UK particularly I feel that an honest opinion is seen as a personal attack as so results in an attack, which then leads to an attack back ... etc ... etc


Political correctness has a lot to answer for IMO




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Deleted User @ 21/06/2011 14:37  

Great posts - honest

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Big Al.. @ 21/06/2011 14:46  

Tact , diplomacy and consideration are the codes i live by.

Honesty is not always the best policy IMO, sometimes its not necessary, but then again all depends on circumstance.

I always say 'never ask me a question if you dont want an honest answer'. But I use the 3 words at the top of the page whilst choosing my reply.

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Brummie Jackie @ 21/06/2011 15:08  

Sometimes just keeping it zipped is best.

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XKLYBR @ 21/06/2011 17:10  

Lots of different opinions going on here. I guess ultimately it comes down to personal choice. YStacey agreed no point if there's no trust. Shell I dont do it with malice and try really hard to think before I speak,sometimes I can be too frank with my words. Maybe you are my long lost twin Big Al Thanks. Brummie Jackie Firstly IMO ! What does it mean ? You sound like you have an analytical mind, not convinced this train of thought is the best as it causes a lot of pain and depression. Ignorance really is bliss in many ways. XKLYBR keeping it zipped is not an option for me :(

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 17:24  

Being open & honest is part of my morals and values. It is who I am and wont change for anyone..

Telling little white lies to protect someone is not a bad thing as long as thats all it is..


Being honest while trying to find a partner has been my down fall, as all I get back is "you sound to good to be true" and it dont seem to go any further.


If someone wants a liar then go and find one, but you dont get that with me..

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 17:29  

deb3km I hear you,got the same issues with men and it pee's me off. Decided it's better to stay single anyway as I think im sometimes too much for men, let me explain. I have been told that I am too set in my ways= I like a clean home. Too impatient= dont like waiting for hours, if you say youre going to be there at a certain time, please stick to it. Dont need a man=as I can do all my own D.I.Y,pay my own bills and sort out my own bike with minor issues that is. Oh and I can please myself better than being left ...... Oh and they dont like being beat at pool Do you not find you have similar issues when being in a relationship ? This sentence brought on this question.(Being open & honest is part of my morals and values. It is who I am and wont change for anyone.. )

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 17:41  

justme101


I dont have an issue with men as I am a gay.. .. Just some women out there can be just as bad as men...


Ive been to womens houses where they live like pigs and never clean. Thankfully they are distant friends and were never partners..


Maybe one day I will meet someone who is honest and has the same values as myself..


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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 17:49  

def not analytical, just live to my own moral code, i have to look at myself in the mirror everyday and as long as i'm happy with that, thats all that matters to me.


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Brummie Jackie @ 21/06/2011 17:58  

i am always honest, as there is no point in lying! you will get caught out in the end!! just finished an alarm install on a small jewelers, the client called me to see what i could do with the existing alarm, i told him the truth, it was shot to pieces (doesnt help that he took a HATCHET to it, because it wouldnt turn off!!, but thats by the by,) telling the truth may be hard sometimes but to lye to someone is one of the worst things you can do imo. yes we ALL tell little white lies now and agin, but sometimes it will trip you up, so i try never to do it!!shaggy

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shaggy101 @ 21/06/2011 18:03  

I dont tell lies, as my brain is not big enough to remember the lies, so I will always forget what i have said. Have trouble remembering real things.

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Running Man @ 21/06/2011 18:06  

Very true Deb some women are slobs,yukkk. Of course you will meet someone,apparently there is someone for everyone. Your love will find her way to you BJ hummmmmm Brummie Jackie fair enough cant argue with that

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Deleted Member @ 21/06/2011 18:07  

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