why is it when women are single for a while they all get smelly cats that cast hair everywhere.....not just one but two sometimes three then talk to them like they can talk back..... horrible things, there is always one that is crazy and will take delight at seeing how far it can dig its claws in even when its being happy........, some are ok I guess but they do smell and they do get hair every where.....every bit of clothing you have gets covered...
I've got 2 budgies and a goldfish . . does that count???!!!
Seriously tho.. have been independant long enough for it to be a way of life aand it would have to be someone very special to change this. Like most of you, being alone is something that becomes second nature (and looked on with a mixture of amazement and suspicion by work colleagues!) but that loneliness is destructive (in and out of a relationship). Thank goodness for hope and BM !!
Do we all believe there is someone, somewhere just for us. . or is that just my optimism??
I agree, you can be single and happy or single and lonely, but the same can be said when in a relationship. It's for some and not for others.
I have been in a relationship with someone where i wasn't happy, couldn't trust the girl and felt alone and second best to everyone else in her life (friends, family,people she knew and her dam phone). Then when we split (best thing ever to happen) I gave up with women and low and behold I found my soul mate, best friend and true love all in one and I was very very happy and never felt alone and it didn't feel right when we wasn't together. I miss her every day and every second since she passed away this year.
But basically iv been on both points in a relationship and iv also been happy being single so I can see why some want to be with someone and why others don't. As for being in a bad relationship, it is hard to get out sometimes, you get to the point where you feel that person is the best you can get by all the put downs and what not and you hope they will change even though you know that will never happen.
Then with my wonderful late wife Ali, I had the complete opposite, I was completely happy in every sense of the word and she was all i ever wanted, nothing else was important, only to see her smile was enough.
Anyway, iv gone on a bit more than i meant to, but everyone i different and wants different things, which is what makes the world so much more fun and interesting
I think its what you make of it really, being single isn't the end of the world. I know people who can't do without being in a relationship I call them serial monogomists, which is fine but they have a tendancy to dive from one relationship to another just to be in a relationship. I knew two mates that split up and went back out no less than 4-5 times because they couldn't get on but hated being single O_o, Personally I don't mind being single too much i think there are points I've allowed myself to be single for two long sometimes and its kind of hard to settle into having someone back in your life, but i'd a nasty habit of getting content with life and just as that happened someone would happen along, which is nice but annoying a few years of content life would have been nice before the whirlwind of emotion mussed it all up again :)
Life is what you make of it, i sometimes look at the lives of my friends and think, *phew* my life is soooooooo simple and it swings the otherway too, personally I believe you have to be able to be happy in your own life before you can be happy with someone else in your life but that's just my attitude.
Nobodies every really batted an eyelid and my long periods of singledom but it might be diffrent the way people think of single men to single women I guess?
I have been in relationships which didnt work out. I think I was unhappy for a while on and off but that was my fault for not taking action. I am on here now to get to know new people see people I knew before because I lost touch. I can be very single minded and sometimes that irritates people. Been too long on my own I suppose. And even though i dont want a relationship at the minute I do want to go out with like minded people on bikes and have fun, (I think i go a little crazy when Im attached because I get too involved and too enthusiastic and then worry Lmao)
I do have a cat (hope I dont smell like her lol)but thats by default I am hoping she will go live with my eldest daughter or one of the other kids when they move on (which wont be too long).
I am still trying to build up my business. As others have said , I have to work on myself a bit I think lol because I get lost when I'm with someone.
I have mates who can't come out for a ride because they have to go to homebase or shopping or some other non bike related event, me i go out when i want for how long i want,
Trouble is, coming back to an empty house sometimes is not quite so good
Well I still git kids at home so maybe I will feel different but at the moment I love coming home to an empty house (but then Ive always been contrary. lol ) ill be crying into my pillow I suppose lol
Yup, every one of my old biker mates gave up riding after getting married. We no longer have anything in common so don't keep in touch any more. Even if we did I suspect that they'd probably never get the time to come out even if they wanted to.
Personally I'd love to have someone special, being alone all the time does suck - but seeing as I've not met a woman in maybe 20 years I felt even remotely attracted to/interested in (never mind the reverse!) it's pretty much a moot point.
...and, when I look at my ex-mates lives (and their wives) I do feel that whilst my own life is far from perfect, I got the lesser of many possible evils. No way would I consider swapping what I have for anything they've got, or anything even remotely like it.
In the end, I don't doubt that in general it's probably less difficult for men to be long term single than it is for women.
The other thing is that the longer you are on your own, I think you become more selfish as you don't have to consider anyone else.
This makes it harder to sometimes make that relationship work, you have to want to make it work and its sometimes just easier to say"ah stuff it"
Its a circle that is difficult to break out of, you need that "someone" to make you do it, unfortunately it takes two and the other doesn't always realise that, which makes you go into "ah stuff it" mode ........ back into that circle again.
Like Ace, I met someone who was the overused cliché, "soulmate" and like his, she is no longer with us, she was killed when pillion with me, thanks to a Frenchman overtaking on the wrong side of the road as I went round a blind left hander (that was nearly 11 years ago).
think i agree with you sf, i try to make the effort to put myself out for others just to avoid being too self centred but sometimes get strange results
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