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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

The things children say

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The things children say

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Junior School Children Writing About The Sea</DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. </DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Kelly </DEFANGHTML_SPAN><DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">age 6)<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = DEFANGHTML_ST1 /><DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE w:st="on">Island</DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE>. If you don't have <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">sea all round you, you are incontinent. (<DEFANGHTML_ST1:CITY w:st="on"><DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE w:st="on">Wayne</DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE></DEFANGHTML_ST1:CITY> age 7)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><DEFANGHTML_ST1:CITY w:st="on"><DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE w:st="on">Richardson</DEFANGHTML_ST1:PLACE></DEFANGHTML_ST1:CITY>. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">5) A dolphin breaths through an arshole on the top of its head. <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Billy age </DEFANGHTML_SPAN><DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">8)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Millie age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">off eating beans.</DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"></DEFANGHTML_SPAN><DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(William age 7)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. </DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Amy </DEFANGHTML_SPAN><DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">think they have to plug themselves into chargers. </DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Christopher age 7)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">willy small. </DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Kevin age 6)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. </DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Becky </DEFANGHTML_SPAN><DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">age 8)<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'"><O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up <O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">her fanny.<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN> <DEFANGHTML_SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Courier New'">(Julie age 7).<O:P></O:P></DEFANGHTML_SPAN>

   Update Reply
dbdb @ 30/01/2007 18:39  

OMFG.........................roflmfao here

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rubecula @ 30/01/2007 21:19  

brilliant!! xx

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witchiest @ 31/01/2007 10:04  

Mum. Yes George. You know it's my birthday soon? Yes George. Well..........can I have a big laser that can cut through metal please. Errrrrrrrrr and at this point I dissolved in to fits of laughter.

   Update Reply
Di @ 31/01/2007 18:12  

Awww bless him..... he wants to modify your car for you and make it really sporty.

   Update Reply
rubecula @ 31/01/2007 18:41  

got a horrible feeling it's to go with the gunpowder he requires. that;s for the rocket he needs to build apparently. hence i hide my bike keys cos he knows wot to do and the key to the garage as well cos that's where all me tools live and i'm sorry he's not having me hedge trimmer or nail gun. nope, not until he's a least 8.

   Update Reply
Di @ 31/01/2007 19:33  

Buy him an anglegrinder for his birthday......

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rubecula @ 01/02/2007 00:16  

If you find where to buy that laser please let me know- I want one!

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dbdb @ 01/02/2007 15:34  

u can get child size tools 4 cutting wood and stuff,james will teach him a few things next time u come over di!!

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witchiest @ 01/02/2007 16:08  

cool buddy, he will loooooooooooooove that. do ya think Charlie will relincquish him tho? dbdb, George reckons I can get one in Tesco or Waitrose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things are easy when ya 6 ain't they?

   Update Reply
Di @ 01/02/2007 16:12  

methinx charlie will have to help! cos he loves george to bits!

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witchiest @ 01/02/2007 16:15  

i guessed that by the way he was hanging on to George's foot and being dragged along the floor as we were trying to leave. wished i could have got that on vid!! bless 'em.

   Update Reply
Di @ 01/02/2007 16:36  

Do you know which aisle they are in at Tesco's and how many clubcard oints you get?

   Update Reply
dbdb @ 01/02/2007 17:55  

I think they are between the bread rolls and the oven cleaner.... on the bottom shelf.

   Update Reply
rubecula @ 02/02/2007 11:46  

In the toy section along with the stress balls that when squeezed look like giant boils If ya bought it on it's own no club card points cos it's only 97p

   Update Reply
Di @ 02/02/2007 15:22  

Next to the miniature whoppee cushions and the dissolving dino eggs in a variaty of colours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Di @ 02/02/2007 15:23  

found some fart putty in superdrug,47p!!

   Update Reply
witchiest @ 02/02/2007 16:49  

After your kids have mastered spelling with Alphabetti Spaghetti, buy a tin of the normal stuff so as they can practise joined-up writing.

   Update Reply
dbdb @ 02/02/2007 16:50  


   Update Reply
Di @ 02/02/2007 16:50  

have u seen alphabet spaghetti anywhere,cos i cant find any!!!

   Update Reply
witchiest @ 03/02/2007 12:15  

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