Blonde lottery winner
A blonde went to buy a lottery ticket, and sure enough, she won! She goes to lottery headquarters to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, "Great! I want my $20 million now please."The man replied, "No, sorry lady. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."The blonde said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."Again, the man explained that she would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.The blonde, furious with the man, finally screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
Well, not a blonde joke, but my daughter (she is 26 mind you!!) told me this one......................
a man had a £50 note tattooed on his manhood (lady so trying to be polite here lol!!) and showed his wife. She asked him why on earth he had it done. To her question he replied - "for three reasons mainly - 1. I like to see my money in my hand 2. I like to feel my money grow 3. If you're going to "blow" £50 on a regular basis you may as well stay home and do it!!!!!
well, made me laugh and brightened my day!!!
Sandy
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Yet another..............
Man and woman in bedroom, man on bed reading newspaper, woman in birthday suit looking at her body critically in mirror. She asks man if he thinks her body is ok and he looks up uninterested and says yes, its fine. Then she announces she thinks her boobs are too small and is thinking about a boob job! He frowns (thinking more money again!!) and offers a suggestion. "Have you tried rubbing tissue paper between them"? She says, no I havent does it work"? To this he replies "well it's worked for your bum"!!!!
yeah, naughty but made me laugh too
Sandy
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Towards the end of the golf course, Larry hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden ... POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. "Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. ... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!!!" Then POOF! .. she was gone! After Larry recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Henry, where are you?" Henry yells back "I'm over here in the pussy willows." Larry shouts back, "DON'T SWING, HENRY; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!"
Quite naughty - think you mean VERY Paul lol!!! notice you're not offended or complaining and will be back for more soon tho lol!! Cant fault you lol!!!
Sandy
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