Redirecting... ...to our OLD website!

We're still in the process of converting the site to the new format.

Apologies for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding.

-Matt, Admin

5

Ok - go now to OLD site

No thanks - stay on NEW site

Jokes, Games & Silly Things

Jokes and Funnies

Jokes and Funnies - Forums [Biker Match]

Jokes and Funnies - Forums [Biker Match]

Biker Match ► Forum ► Jokes, Games & Silly Things ► Jokes and Funnies

Home / Search Forums / Jokes, Games & Silly Things /

Jokes and Funnies

Posts: 27 Pages: 1/2

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

I got a text message today from someone I either don't know or someone I do know who has a new mobile phone number and they've forgotten to tell me, anyway here is the text they sent me, I thought it was funny so I thought I'd share, don't kick me if it's old to you. Larry La Prise the man who wrote the 'Hokey Cokey' has died aged 93. The worst part was getting him in the coffin. They put his left leg in... then the trouble started

Sandi @ 13/12/2007 18:06

tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Karma:

tangoman60 @ 13/12/2007 18:09

tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Karma:

thanks kwakthats funny!!

tangoman60 @ 13/12/2007 18:10

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

I'm glad it made ya laugh, it's good to laugh init? Ha ha ha He he he I'm the laughing gnome And ya can't catch me

Sandi @ 13/12/2007 18:17

tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Karma:

ive heard it b4 but youve kickstarted me into fit's here!!!

tangoman60 @ 13/12/2007 18:21

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

I shoplifted a joint of meat from the supermarket, the security guy yelled at me "Hey, what are you doing with that?" I yelled back at him "mash, carrots, peas and gravy, ya nosey git!"

Sandi @ 14/12/2007 18:21

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

Q. What did the bald man say when he got a hair comb for Christmas? A. "Thanks, I'll never part with it" =========== Child: "Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?" Mum: "No!, you can have turkey like everyone else"

Sandi @ 15/12/2007 06:28

Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Karma:

Kwak, Has someone been opening the crackers early????? lol

Deleted Member @ 15/12/2007 06:50

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

How very dare you! B G Nope just rifling thro the kiddies section of the joke site

Sandi @ 15/12/2007 06:54

middlv
In: Southampton
Posts: 136
Karma:

I got sent this by email at work the other day Upgrade Dear Tech Support ... Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 ... and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. and then installed undesirable programs such as Match Of the Day 5.0, Top Gear 4.3, Babestation 3.0, and Sky Sports 3.6.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.What can I do? Signed,Desperate Reply from the Technical Side: Dear Desperate: First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while husband 1.0 is an Operating System.Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME' to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.If that application works as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. BUT remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck, Tech Support

I got sent this by email at work the other day 
 
Upgrade Dear Tech Support ... Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 ...  and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. and then installed undesirable programs such as Match Of the Day 5.0, Top Gear 4.3, Babestation 3.0, and Sky Sports 3.6.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.What can I do?  Signed,Desperate   Reply from the Technical Side:  Dear Desperate: First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while husband 1.0 is an Operating System.Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME' to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.If that application works as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. BUT remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck, Tech Support

middlv @ 15/12/2007 16:26

tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Karma:

nerd's will love it!!you a nerd middly?

tangoman60 @ 15/12/2007 16:48

middlv
In: Southampton
Posts: 136
Karma:

Definately not TM - anything with adrenaline for me he he! It just made me giggle all day - one of the girls in the office has just got married and sent it round to us all.

middlv @ 15/12/2007 17:05

Steve55
In: Heckmondwike
Posts: 124
Karma:

Old married couple lying in bed. Wife "Have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Husband stutters "Nno, never." Wife says "Come on you can tell me now." Husband "Well yes once, but it was years ago." Wife "I could do with that one right now."

Steve55 @ 16/12/2007 12:14

Blueboy955i
In: Darlington
Posts: 916
Karma:

Blueboy955i @ 16/12/2007 15:59

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

Steve, I don't understand the joke you posted, I know I have my 'blonde' moments but I don't think this is one of 'em Have you missed something out or am I just misisng the point?

Sandi @ 17/12/2007 02:37

skins
In: Sutton in Ashfie
Posts: 519
Karma:

Kwak... how dare you post jokes about people with no hair.. you know how sensative i get about the subject....LOL

skins @ 19/12/2007 07:26

Scary
In: Somerset
Posts: 1155
Karma:

Skins, GOD MADE A FEW PERFECT HEADS, THE REST HE COVERED IN HAIR!!!!

Scary @ 19/12/2007 07:39

tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Karma:

tangoman60 @ 19/12/2007 10:57

happy jack
In: chipping norton
Posts: 91
Karma:

I love your jokes kwak have you got any more? If you have keep them coming

happy jack @ 19/12/2007 13:51

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17942
Karma:

Aww Skins no I DIDN'T know you are sensitive about your baldness, I didn't know you were bald, I thought it was shaved. I apologise for causing offence now STFU and quit telling everyone I ORGANISE events ======== Lol Jack I'll try but most jokes on the net have been around a thousand years.

Sandi @ 19/12/2007 18:57

Posts: 27 Pages: 1/2

Bringing friendly UK motorcycle enthusiasts together since 2006. Events, social, dating, news and more.