BOY: May I hold your hand?GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!BOY: You love me...GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest coupleGIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??BOY: I love you and I could die for you!GIRL: How soon??BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.MAN: You remind me of the sea.WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?MAN: NO, because you make me sick.WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.1) Girlfriend : "....And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"Pupil : "The moon".Teacher : "Why?"Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"Pupil : "A teacher".4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"Customer : "What other colors do you have ?"5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"Sam : "It's a family tradition".Teacher : "What do you mean?"Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".Teacher : "What about your mother?"Sam : "She's a woman"..7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"Student : "Brotherly love".9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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