Hey Actionman! I hear the NHS are now paying £6.50 a time for sperm donations . . . . . . . . which makes that old towel under your bed worth about nine grand!
A guy walked into the doctors and informed him that he had not had a 'Crap' during the last week.
The doctor gave him some small capsules and told him to put one up his back passage every day and come back in a week.
The following week, the guy went back to the doctors informing him that he had still not 'Passed' anything.
The doctor was very surprised as these capsules would usuall do the trick and asked exactly how the guy had administerd them.
'Well', said the guy. 'We ain't got a back passage, so every day I threw one up our entry but for all the good they did. I might just have well stuck them up my arse'.
The Day the Penis asked for a RaiseI, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the followingreasons:I do physical labour. I work at great depths.I plunge headfirst into everything I do.I do not get weekends or public holidays off.I work in a damp environment.I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures.My work exposes me to contagious diseases.Sincerely,P. NissThe Response:Dear P. Niss,After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,The administration rejects your request for the following reasons:You do not work 8 hours straight.You fall asleep after brief work periods.You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visitingother locations.You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured andstimulated in order to start working.You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such aswearing the correct protective clothing.You will retire well before you are 65.You are unable to work double shifts.You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task.And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering andexiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.Sincerely,V. Gina<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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hey Dave an this will please scary,on radio one today they reckon that people called Dave have the biggest appendages!so me an you are in for a good time on here![but somehow i think not!]
Apple computers announced today the development of a chip that can be implanted into a womans breast and play music. The i-tit will cost £399 and is regarded as a major breakthrough as women are always moaning that men just stare at their t*ts and never listen to them.
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