Actually in tears!!!!!!
My baby's dad sent me an offline msn message today to say he dont want to be at the birth! I feel so upset for baby especially. How can he not want to be there!!!
And cant believe he didnt even ring to tell me. Spineless. What do I tell my poor child when it asks why its dad dont care or wanna be there?????? Its realy pissed me off mainly cuz Im so happy lately and he always knows how to bring me back down with a bump!
Hun, time is a great healer of most things and by the time the baby is old enough to understand your view of the situation would of changed greatly. Deal with the here and now, make your happiness and the health of your child your priority, you don't need to think about anyone else at this time. Fill your life with positive people and thoughts and with those that love you.
your baby aint gonna know he's not there an when older probably couldnt care less! once men never were at the birth modern times pressure men into thinkin they should be there i was but wouldnt have worried if i hadnt been, i was there for her primarily,!its difficult but dont worry about it to much it aint that important, whats important is yu an the baby doin well not gettin stressed out with minor details an they are!its yu an the baby! what about youre new fella ?seein as youre goin to be a family presumably!!he may find it a real bonding experiance ![i am bracin myself for the flak the reactionaries an knee jerk brigade are gonna throw!]
if someone doesnt want to do sommat nowatter wat!!acept it n move on!dont waste energy in name callin an such,accept it an move on for fks sake,i am watchin a programe about darfour the murder an genocide there!believe me folks we have no real probs jus minor unimportant family sqabbles are yu gonna be burnt alive at a moments notice youre children hacked to death in front of yu!no!look at the world an wats goin on we got it easy!!
Bg1200 it's right what TM says it's only modern times when so much emphasis has been put on the father being at the birth, so don't let it worry you, my ex was only there for one out of the three births of our girls, the eldest was born with out him even knowing I had given birth, they told him it would be hours away, we didn't have a phone so when it happened quickly he didn't know until about 4hrs afterwards but it certainly didn't have any effect on the girls as they grew up.
Also like TM says how about your sharing this lovely experience with your new partner what better way for someone to bond with a child it sounds like he is going to be bringing up as his own.
Try to turn this negative into a positive by saying Oh well his loss my gain, my new partner can share this instead.
still here kwak just! got to me the programme, so much we dont hear about the gvt there funding genocide against certain minorities an these killers are brutal! hackin burnin raping its horrible, since the genocide you,d think it has stopped but it goes on its a shitty cruel an unjust world but at the same time beutiful world an sometimes i jus get overwhelmed an confused with it all an cant handle it!maybe i should do some volunteer work bin thinkin about it as i have skills that could be useful.we'll see!
TM if your looking for volunteer work I could keep you busy for some time, what you like with gardens, ponds, fitting bathrooms, laying carpet, replacement windows. Everyone seems to want so much money to do these jobs. Things I used to be able to do myself when my arm fully worked.
Only playing you up TM, I know what you mean about these programs I have had to stop watching them they were really starting to get to me but one thing they did teach me was no matter how crappy my life is there is always someone far far worse off and thats why I hardly ever get down about my life I just think of the mystery tomorrow will be bringing me.
Ah right, I see.
I've adopted the 'Ostrich' position, 'head in sand' over the years. Selfish maybe but it's the only way not to get deeper into depression.
If we left food on our plate it may make us feel guilty, cos of the starving folk in the world, but if we ate it all it wouldn't mean the starving would get to eat. We shouldn't feel guilty because we get to eat and others don't. In other words there isn't that much we can do about some of the bad stuff.
Volunteering is good but you shouldn't feel guilty for something that isn't your fault.
i dont feel guilty an i dont get happy by thinkin some poor sod is worse of than me!i jus feel there pain an think what it would be like if it happened to my kids!pointless i suppose an i shouldnt watch but i have an now have to think my way out of it!i have always thought its the way things are an it aint gonna get any better,guess we are jus lucky! an we cant solve all the problems of the world an never will!!lobbyin our politicians for sanctions against these regimes may be the only way i can do my bit but its sommat!
TM, Im sorry. I didnt mean to piss you off with my minor problem. I am feeling so much better now but I was very upset at the time not really at the fact he said he wont be there after so many false promises but that he told me via an offline message on MSN. He's a spineless tosser and thats what upset me most. I know my problem is very trivial but it helped a little to air it!
TM
I can understand what you're saying, and yes in the greater scheme of things a lot of the problems/issues that users of this site face are trivial in comparison to the problems of the world
However, this thread was surely set up so that users of this site could air their feelings in a supportive environment ?
I think you've let something big get in the way of something that although small mattered to someone...
Quite agree with you SL...every life has its ups and downs...I have encountered a lot of downs, but I try and remain optomistic for the ups coming my way...BOY will I enjoy them!
TM - I cannot look at any programme like that as it wrenches my heart out....over the years I try and live my life as best as I can without hurting anyone on the way...I try not to feel guilty and I do not get any pleasure from those worse off than myself...it is about achieving some sort of balance that you are happy with. One of the most important things to achieve first is being happy with yourself...
Love and best wishes to all those BM members who feel sad and unhappy today...tomorrow is a new day...
yeah youre right no more big issues!!this aint the forum for em!!ooh it rhymes!! sorry bg1200 it matters to yu an thats important!!only tryin to help but sounded a bit orrible!!sorry!
I think we all know what both of you are saying. I feel for you both, however small a problem is to anyone else, if you're the one living it, then it's major. Aren't we lucky to have a site where we can let off steam and at the same time, get help and support when we need it most.
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