I had a good laugh at myself 2day, there I were quite happily walkin along then next min..........thaboom, wooooooooop! I had slipped on the ice and there I were on me knees, fell forward, hands went straight in2 a puddle, me keys fell out me pocket straight on top of a drain(luckily it were covered in ice so they didnt fall down). me daughter who was with me just walked off laughin n left me there on all fours laughing too much to be able to get up.
Luckily no1 were around to see me but I had to go into the shop sporting two very wet knees
Reading the ceefax news about a load of Tetley tea being stolen.
NO!! it weren't me that nicked it, but if anyone knows who did I'd appreciate their number
I wonder if they stole decaf tea bags too *tries to look like an angel*
Having to go rescue my car after abandoning it last night in the snow, she was there all ready for me to take home, complete with snowman on bonnet wearing a xmas hat !!!
In a Dallas styleeeeeeeeeeee .......................... you come out of the shower and realise that everything that had gone on before was nothing more than a daydream slash nightmare .........
You rub your eyes in disbelief and walk into the kitchen, in which i have set my traps ................ the toaster pops and out comes several burning hot pop tarts which u attempt to catch, they split open pouring hot jam all over ur hands, you run to the sink and turn on the tap which just produces sand, in panic you run outside and shove ur hands into the ONJ look a like snowman and melt her .............. i on the other hand watch from the comfort of my american style mobile home, eating mince pies, drinking egg nog, playing poker with Santa, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and watching the best of Morecombe and Wise ........... not sure which made me laught more ..............
I try to stop rolling round the room if fits of laughter……………..
You truly have failed to comprehend the power of the force…and the tactical master plan is coming together...
All your talk of Dallas style events, Santa, Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy show that you are not in your American motor home but are in fact, still in the depths of the earth hallucinating after trying to eat your way out of the now radio active Terry’s chocolate oranges ( BTW Terry says you owe him for them). As can be confirmed by the fact that Santa, as he travels across various time zones has about 36 hours to deliver all his prezzies, so at the time of your post he is at work, as is the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny is on holiday in Barbados drinking cocktails on the beach.
All this has given me time to build a 4 storey shopping complex with on roof parking for my space ship AKA “The Doris” on top of the hole you so thoughtfully created.
Sensing my inevitable victory all your fans (that’s both of them BJ) head towards the exit as the officials start to put blue and white ribbons on the trophy reminiscent of the 1963 league cup final when blues beat the villa 3-1 on aggregate. Just in case you need a gentle reminder……..
Faster than you can say ”I’ve got a monkey called Arnold” I inflate my 8 ONJ’s that you kindly told me I could get of ebay, set up the BBQ and put my feet up soaking up the ambience and ecstatic applause ringing round the court…
The umpire declares…”15 all” The commentator states “looks like the dark side really has met her match time…can’t see away back from this”
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Yer doomed Tinkerbell…doomed…..beam me up Scotty
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Might was to put Buffet Island Tyburn rd into your sat nav….what to wear, decisions, decisions..
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Happy Xmas
The cat in total heaven ... every time someone scrunched up the wrapping paper into a ball & throw it into the bin ... she would dive for the bin, head & paws in till she hooked the ball ... then up she would come , ball of paper in her mouth & be off with it.
Guess I will have to hunt round the house tomorrow or we will be finding balls of Xmas wrapping paper at easter
WATCHING MY DOG DREAMING ON SETTEE AND MAKEING FUNNY NOISES AND HER PAWS MOVING AROUND REALLY FUNNY,AND GOING OVER TO KENT TODAY MEETING UP WITH A FEW PEEPS,HAD A GOOD RIDE ON BIKE
Doctor asking me if my vision was impaired after my ..erm ........ minor incident today ................ looked quite puzzled when i said not if i squint and only use 1 eye (forgot i hadnt mentioned to him i didnt have my reading glasses with me !!!)
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