Made a mistake after getting in from work this morning. Listened to some old music, did some drinking, did some thinking, and totally mind fucked myself. Haven't been to bed and have a right brandy buzz going. Basically I have been fucked over so many times in the last 13-14 yrs, I think I am irredeemable, I don't have the capacity to trust or to give myself fully and unconditionally. Therefore I shall go forward with my life alone with the consolation that I have some friends, even if they are spread far and wide. Memory and nostalgia are soothing balms and at the same time weapons to harden and arm the soul and mind. I am far from being perfect, in this I cannot be aught but honest. When I give, I give too much of myself and ask for nought in return, except reciprocation My biggest fault and undoing, is my blindness and refusal to accept the evidence of my own eyes. I have, for the most part, been a loner, and suspect am damned to always be. So be it! It is, after all, what I am good at. What I have been perfecting for so long. Forgive me my short comings, they are many. I cannot be anything other than what I have been destined to be all along.
hugs 6 xxx self dout it a terrible thing hope a wonderful thing find the balance and stik with it hansite is a wonderful thing with out it you are the person that site there drinking the brandy you are what you are (or you is what you is ) beepends were you come from init yow yow and friend are at hand if you need then xxxxxx kepp away from the golden oldys when drinking brandly it may cose melone collie
Hey 66 !!
Ya know - we all come into this World alone and exit it alone !
Life's like a train journey and some stations are pretty dire , but some are ace and will lead you to places you really like .....
But each of us has their own schedule and when its time to get back on the train sometimes its hard ......but ya never know just what around that next corner. Get back on that train and dont stay in the station you're in .... its obviously not a place you like.
See ya at Matlock tomorrow ?
gbc2010
Thanks to everyone offering support and advice, another day has dawned, ( actually it had dawned before I went to bed ) and amazingly no hangover. I am not the sort to share my inner thoughts so openly in public, alcohol is a wicked thing. ( where did I put that bottle of meths? )
Today I am ...... on edge ! Waiting for something to happen (something good I hope) Not expecting anything but just waiting !! Keep thinking I should make something happen - but very often when ya do that - it goes tits up !!
Having just arrived in Berlin looking forward to a cracking evening with friends before getting into the real reason I'm here tomorrow, WORK....... Gonna make the most of it!
![what mood are you in ? (12) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![what mood are you in ? (12) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
