Which one is yours? 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying. 10. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be? 24. Do I look like a f***king people person to you? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 31. Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different. 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door. 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. 40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.
I work on the fact that most people I come into contact with at work ...............
'should remain silent and let me think they are stupid, rather than open their mouths and remove all doubt'...........................
(I work with a high proportion of Naval Officers) .....also........
"Sir! its not often your right ... but ... your wrong again!"
and
""I have no doubt that this officers men would follow him, but if anything, only out of curiosity!"
and finally
"Sir you work like a well oiled machine....unfortunately its broken!"
Titter Titter
Winston Churchhill was said to have been very quick witted.....
...At a dinner party one night a particularly stuck up woman said to him you Mrs Churchill are drunk to which he replied"Yes Ma'am but in the morning I shall be sober...You my good woman are ugly!"...........
love all of them!
I am lucky and am not stuck in a filled office so communication between my bosses and eveyrone I work with is mostly via online instant message type stuff so I can shout all I want and simply type a or or
jonnytb WC, tis true tis true ......... not that i met the man in person of course, im old buttt not that old
(im workin to improve, im thinkin; a week after the event to 'come up with wit' is welll not quite there yet,.....
"in my case; ability doth not match experience"
![40 things not to say in the office - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
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