Creative Puns for Smart Minds 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was prosecuted for littering
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie..
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”
14. I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, “Keep off the Grass.”
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21 A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!
Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying.I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.
Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it
My friend Max hates going up steep hills.He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.
A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded. He replied 'Not guilty Mallard'.
I used to want to be a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out.
A jump-lead walks into a bar, and looks around aggressively at the other customers.The barman says "All right, I'll serve you... but don't start anything."
A woman went to France on a wine-tasting vacation. Unfortunately, while in the capital city, she drank too much, fell from her hotel window and ended up in a body cast.When she got home, she swore never to get plastered in Paris again.
Just noticed a comment in the chatroom
"people keep entering then leaving just before someone else comes in"
and immediate thought was
"obviously suffering from premature evacuation"
![Clever Puns - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![Clever Puns - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
