A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?" "No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the next stop The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!" "Yeah?", says the hippie. "Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God." The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night. "I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face. "Have sex with me." The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal Sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. 'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish. "Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!" "Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver
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i can remember one of the first 'dirty' jokes i heard from the primary school playground! boy goes to a brothel ''ive only got sixpence'' the madam takes the money and shout's''grease the cat's arse Charley!''
Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, aretraveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing inTransylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, outof nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the carand hisses at them through the windshield." Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should wedo?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of theabomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock themini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissingat the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts." Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy waterbefore we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. Thevampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns." Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes." Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent." Now you're talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off our car!