Brown wants us to cut the amount of petrol we use......
The best way to stop using so much petrol is to deport 3 million illegal immigrants! That would be 3 million less people using our petrol. The price of petrol would come down.....
Then bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Channel....
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Channel, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq....
Tell him if he wants to come to Britain then he must serve a tour in the military....
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it....
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country....
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident....
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves....
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo....
Problem solved!
how many of us join the army to 'defend'our country? my stance on immigration is if the have sommat usefull to give there ok!i couldnt care less about race creed or colour most people are ok its always the hardliners whether American right wing born agin war mongerin christian twats or fanatical muslems they are in the minority most people want a quiet life!!
When are u running for PM? TT?
Gets my vote.
Brilliant suggestions - radical maybe, but brilliant!
And why not put the loafers and layabouts in the army as well - they could learn a trade as well as guarding the ports - then become useful citizens when demobbed.
i wanted to join the r,e,m,e when 16 but my dad put me of thinkin it was like when he was in the mob thinkin i'd be bullyed[storys of how they twisted his nips in p.e] an couldnt stand the discipline!wish i'd stood up to im!as it was i spent 5 unhappy yrs as a apprentice in a borin factory!! well not that unhappy but deffo borin!!
TBH, I was expecting an admonishing tirade from tolerant PC people.....
OK, someone go kill Brown & Co. I'll get working on my campaign speech!!!
BTW, I will also be dealing harshly with anyone who doesn't have BALLS. Metaphorical balls are fine ladies, but understand this - to live in The Taskmaster's England, you need the bollocks to stand up for yourself and your nation.
For example - When some arsehole tells you they're doubling the price of petrol by lumping unjustifiable taxes on it, I expect his head on a pike by teatime!!!
YOU are my people, I am your representative. THEY are just the bean-counting minions we use to run OUR country for us.
it's an unenviable job damned if yu do damned if yu dont!!maybe petrol prices should stay high forcing us to make alternative meusures so we aint so dependant on other countries for fuel!we should be investing in ground heat pumps,wind and tidal power,even nuclear,solar energy ,even as in some countrys now they are taking hot water from deep down where there are disused coal mines so you northern peeps should be able to benefit![hot showers you know?]but at the moment cheaper fuel is essential for business to stay afloat plus reducing thier overheads an keepin peeps jobs interestin to see if mr Browns public spending ideas come off!
Alcohol will not be permitted, unless in the form of Mead.
If you're going to get drunk, you will drink something that makes you mellow at the same time.
If you want to fight and be all aggresive, being sober means you're less likely to make a tit of yourself at the same time!!
MPs will be representatives of their district only.
They will report directly to me and each receive the same salary as the manager of a factory.
I do need a network of reliable, impartial spies in each area who can report on how people are doing.
Corruption will be handled in the manner of Torquemada.