MENU LOGIN 
   Redirecting... ...to our OLD website!


We're still in the process of converting the site to the new format.

Apologies for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding.

-Matt, Admin

5

Ok - go now to OLD site

No thanks - stay on NEW site


Jokes, Games & Silly Things

My dog

My dog - Forums [Biker Match] My dog - Forums [Biker Match]
Home / Search Forums / Jokes, Games & Silly Things /

My dog

 Posts: 11       Pages: 1/1

Post Reply
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."

   Update Reply
wheelbarrow @ 24/11/2010 21:40  


   Update Reply
Suzi5551 @ 24/11/2010 21:44  


   Update Reply
Suzi5551 @ 24/11/2010 21:44  

OK Suzanne - we heard you first time

   Update Reply
Weirdoraptor @ 24/11/2010 21:46  

Not sure what happened there! hee hee.

   Update Reply
Suzi5551 @ 24/11/2010 21:47  

luv it lol

   Update Reply
kazninja @ 25/11/2010 07:36  

excellent

   Update Reply
willi.p @ 25/11/2010 15:53  

fab

   Update Reply
Deleted Member @ 25/11/2010 16:44  

I call my dog Marlboro 


coz he's got no legs so I have to take him for a drag in the park.

   Update Reply
vinnie @ 26/11/2010 08:55  

Good one , put a smile on my face this morning thanks

   Update Reply
savanna @ 28/11/2010 11:35  


haha lmao love it, nice one

   Update Reply
Deleted Member @ 22/12/2010 19:53  

 Posts: 11       Pages: 1/1

Back to top
Facebook Twitter Google Pinterest Text Email