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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

God and Satan

God and Satan - Forums [Biker Match] God and Satan - Forums [Biker Match]
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God and Satan

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In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Haagen Das Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too ...with chocolate sprinkles." And lo they gained 10 pounds.And so it came to pass that God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 10 to size 16.So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.God then said: "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.Then it came to pass that God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.So it came to pass God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a satellite TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the magic flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the .99 pence double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries and an extra creamy milkshake with that?" And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!"And Satan said: "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.And then...Satan chuckledand created the National Health Service and MRSA ...............

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Scary @ 09/06/2009 14:44  


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chunkichick @ 09/06/2009 15:37  

lmfao !! Good One Scary!

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Karey @ 09/06/2009 15:53  

PMSL ... so funny thank you for cheering me up

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Deleted User @ 09/06/2009 16:09  

You've been away a while Scary... But what a comeback

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Emzed @ 09/06/2009 16:19  

Good one scary-must go check my sausages & bacon-at least I,m grilling it

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old red @ 09/06/2009 20:46  

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