old gixer boy In: on the streets
Posts: 218
Karma:
can anyone tell me when that feeling goes away you no what i mean you have just come out of a relationship and you thought this is the one then it ends then you start feeling like sh.. that feeling you get in your stomach does anyone know what i mean sorry to witter on i just want to get back to normal again
having gone through same thing more than once, it does get better i recommend lots of nights out with mates we all going to sun inn on 22nd march come along and meet loads of new friends
The only thing I can say is that the more often you go through it the easier it gets. I'm not sure that's a good thing though, it seems the more shit you have to deal with the less you feel. Just get out there and try again, and again, and again, and make as many friends as you can, or better still go for a ride, that always makes me smile
A friend of mine gave me a piece of advise once that helped.
You have to enjoy being in your own company, once you can do this it makes being single alot easier.
Keep your mates around you and always look forward.
I agree wiv the above posts..
I once gave into someone after keepin my guard up a long time.. then got hit hard .... knocks u for 6. I won't give my heart so easy agen.
Yeh it does get easier each time. Like one of my mates sed, u gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.
I'm with Scary on this one ,start to do something you enjoy on your own,getting out with mates is good,but you still feel lonely going home.I've been single for a year now,after a 10 year 'stint' and it gets easier,I promise I have a saying now "Nobody can start a new beginning,but anyone one start today and make a new ending" .A wise old biker said that to me,think about it.and chin up mate
old gixer boy In: on the streets
Posts: 218
Karma:
thanks to all of you i just felt really crap today it sort of comes and goes anyway thanks everyone and for all the pms you know who you are cheers hope to see you in harrogate on the 22nd steve
You can't have a good day EVERY day.. how boring would that be?? lol but the crap days get fewer and far between.
Live for today, look forward to tomorra, but don't look back...till you're ready
Not nice when you meet someone and you put everything onto the relationship and then you get tossed out because they think the grass is greener on the other side. Been there recently. Only time will heal the hurt.
OGB it does get easier even though at the moment its hard to believe that. I agree with Scary and HG in what they have said.
My way of coping with what life throws at me is to not look back but to just glance back and think if it wasn't for my yesterdays I wouldn't have my todays and the mysteries of my tomorrows to live for, if we didn't have the odd bad day how would we know what a good day was as we would have nothing to judge it by.
Try and channel your energies into doing something to take your mind of your upset, set yourself a challenge to complete something that has been outstanding for ages, or set yourself a target/goal which you know is achieveable but will take up your now spare time, even if its to learn something new, its a good feeling when you achieve this goal.
It's amazing how doing something different can lift your spirits, get out to as many biker meet ups as you can and widen your circle of friends. Try to focus on going to things that you know won't be all couples.
I can honestly say I feel the happiest I have for a long time, I never thought being single I would say that as I am a very people orientated person.
OGB do you live by any of the girls on here who could do with some company on their new venture to get their bike licence, think how good a feeling that would be if you helped/supported them to achieve their goal.
My next challenge it to learn to be more concise and not ramble like us old folk so often do.
I have a friend who was married for thirteen years and thought everything was wonderful.
He then learnt that she had been seeing someone else for a very long time and his world fell apart. They split up, got divorced, sold the marital home and he went back to living with his parents for a while.
However, he decided that then was the time to do the things that he had always wanted to do but couldn't because he had to consider another as well.
So he took a large proportion of the money from the sale of the house. Bought a brand new motorbike (a ZZR14 the bas**ard!) and spent literally a year travelling around the world!!
Austria, Switzerland (where I met the guy), then Spain, Morocco, France and Holland, Czech Republic (or whatever it's called now!), North America and Canada.
He then came home, sold his ZZR (well a dealer friend is selling it for him) and bought a ZX12 for a bit of fun. This year he's already planned another few trips.
I hate him!
So, don't just sit there moping around ... get out and have fun on your own.
Geoff I totally agree with your friend, I had spent 32yrs with the same person and certainly didn't expect to suddenly become single (thanks sis) but I used this new experience to catch up on some of things I would have liked to have done but family/others stopped me doing.
Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would even ride pillion on a bike let alone ride one. As I have said before on this site, I now have a Wealth no money could ever buy, I have a Wealth of lovely people in my life and a feel good factor to go with it.
Same here CG, tho ive always had biking in my blood, my ex hubs of 23 yrs had no interest in bikes at all. So it got put on a back-burner.
Then I met u lot on here and i have made some very good and vaulable friends.
As well as my best (non-biker friends) you lot have kept my head above water.
So chin up OGB, once you've spent more than 10 mins at a meet wiv us lot, you will be fine.... *well thats a matter of opinion..lol*
And if you're lonely in the evenings, theres always somebody online. Theres been times when ive needed to talk, and been up all night talking to mates
just look forward, not back and dont worry about the what-ifs and may be's - its pointless, wastes time and energy and stops you moving on! Appreciate what you have, who you are and the fact that you tried and couldn't have done any more (hopefully! but only you know that!). Don't dwell on things let them drop into the past and live in the present and look forward to the future. Also, dont be sucked into thinking others have more/are luckier than you have been in love (especially couples you admire and consider friends!) You'd be surprised what goes on behind closed doors and things arent always what you think.Learn to appreciate life one day at a time, plan nice happy things and keep those you love and trust near you. Just be yourself and enjoy what comes - life has many surprises believe me. I was married for most of my life - youngster and mature woman - 30 years together in all when sadly life parted us. Heart broken a few times and now, although been living on my own for 7 years, met a great guy on here just over 2 years ago and get on great, love each other to bits. I doubt we'll ever live together tho - too many differences and have learned to appreciate our own space and time - it's what makes the togetherness so special. But hey, sometimes happiness comes in different shapes and forms = dont always think the marriage happy ever after things is the ultimate and only way. Im proof that you can have a loving partner but your own home, space and time too = works for me, Ive never been happier and he's certainly not complaining either. Plus Im out and about with my HOG Chapter now - with and without him, being my own person and enjoying life to the full. Life can often bring many surprises - when you least expect it and in forms you didnt dream of!! Enjoy............stop worrying, be yourself and just see what comes...................time dont always heal but you can help it along yourself hun.
Take care and stay well and safe
Sandy
x
Just thought I'd put my two pennorth in.
For what its worth I've bin there, done that, several times, cleaning bike with the T-shirt now!
My philosophy, hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and take what comes.
Be satisfied with yourserlf, firstly you have to like who you are. Dont doubt your own integrity and above all try not to judge people by the actions or behaviour of others. It is hard,I know, but you can't change the past you can only affect today and the future.
Take care buddy, summer's almost here and good mates and a good bike will see you through.
Ride safe, ride free.
Em
love yourself and love your life.a partner should enhance your life,not become it.i believe we need time alone to discover who we really are,our strengths and weaknesses,our dreams and aspirations.when you are truly honest with yourself,you find an inner contentment that no one,no matter how much love there is between you,can offer.We meet many people in our lives,some only briefly but they all have something to teach us.Take what you can from each encounter,be grateful for what was good leave behind what was bad and go into the future with enthusiasm,hope and expectation.
love and light
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