WHAT A LIFE: It's been snowing all night. So: 8:00. I made a snowman. 8:10. A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15. So, I made a snow woman. 8:17. My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20. The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead. 8:22. The transgender ma..wom... person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25. The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot noses, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28. I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31. The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman must wear a burqa. 8:40. Three Police cars arrive saying someone has been offended. 8:42. The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicts women in a domestic role. 8:43. The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with prosecution. 8:45. TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist. 9:00. I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, pervert, racist, homophobic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10. Far left protestors offended by everything are marching calling for my head. 9:29 My kids are taken from me and I lose WHAT A LIFE: