This one always cracks me up......Bad day at the crossing...... The scene is a railway level crossing with automatic barriers which had just started to come down, red lights flashing, as a scrap merchant's horse and cart came up to them. It was one of those two-wheeled carts with a couple of wooden arms sticking out to either side of the horse - sorry, I'm a bit weak on cart terminology, so I don't know what they're called. As the horse and cart came to a stop a motorcyclist arrived, I think on a Suzuki GS750, although it all doesn't matter too much to the story. In the next few minutes first one car, then another, also arrived and queued up behind the horse and cart.All very uninteresting so far until the motorcyclist decided, as many of us would have, to move forward to the front, and rode up alongside the horse as the train was about to pass through. Maybe you're expecting the horse to be freaked by the combination of high-speed train and motorcycle only feet away? No it was far too busy with a bit of a tickle in its nose and was tossing its head about in an effort to clear it. Finally while shaking its head side to side, the horse let off an enormous sneeze, spraying the unfortunate motorcyclist with large quantities of gunge from its nostrils - he even had his visor up, so copped a helmet-full of horse snot. Nice. Understandably the motorcyclist was not at all happy about this. So he punched the horse squarely on the nose. Satisfying maybe but not very bright.Especially as the startled animal reared up violently at the pain and jumped backwards out of his way. The cart which was dependent on a well-behaved horse for its stability, also reared up, tipping its load of ancient washing machines, rusting boilers and mangled angle iron back on to the bonnet of the car behind. The driver had seen what was happening, and hastily slipped his car into reverse in an effort to get out of the way forgetting or not realising that he wasn't the only vehicle in the queue. So he backed solidly into the car behind him. The scene was now quite a mess:Two shunted cars, a crazily angled cart with an upset horse and a pile of scrap metal in the road. Plus, presumably a rather sheepish motorcycle rider with equine mucus all over his face. A pedestrian who had also been standing at the crossing thought he'd try to helps so he tied up his dog and came over to give a hand in loading the scrap back on to the cart. Meanwhile, the train had disappeared, the red lights stopped flashing and the barriers began to rise once again. This was very bad news for the dog whose lead had been tied to oneof them and now found himself hanging by his neck six feet from the ground. The insurance paperwork this generated was almost as messy as the accident itself, but one person escaped it all - the motorcyclist who, in the confusion, had disappeared!! Written by Kevin Ash Freelance Journalist
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