Just out of Curiosity..
At what age is a Man too Old to be a Dad, and How Old is too Old for a Woman to become a Mother?
I don't mean Scientific research wise, I mean Peoples personal Opinions (maybe from experience).
Tel.
Hi Tel..
An interesting post which I'm sure will stir mixed emotion as well as mixed opinion. Statistically, there appears to be an increase in women giving birth in their 40's and 50's. I feel that age is not the sole issue for either male or female, but how fit and able we are as parents to cope and provide for our off-spring... physically/financially/emotionally/psychologically.
I know a lady who gave birth to her first child at 47 and her second at 49. She and her husband (who was the same age) have never been happier. In conclusion, 'Stabilty' in life can be seen to be of far greater importance than age itself..
As long as you are fit and able to love and take care of them until they are mature enough to as in an adult to take care of them self, I don't see any age as too old! But the older you are the harder it is run after young kids lol I know and I'm only 43 lol
I felt old when I had my son at 31...... I always wanted another but now, at 39 plus VAT, I am defo too old. Besides, with my son being 16, I have my freedom back now so not sure I would actually want a baby. I'll just wait and hope that one day I will be a Granny (clearly not for a long time yet lol!).
Hi, thanks for the replies thus far, The reason for my Question was that so many of us are in our 40's+ and I was wondering about all the What if's and possible regrets in Life..
I've never been with a partner that wanted Children (only had 2 Partners in my lifetime), but had I met a lady that wanted Children I think I would have gone with the flow!
As for being physically/financially/emotionally/psychologically ready to cope..................Is anyone able to be all 4?
I have no personal regrets, I just think I would have been a good Dad!
Just need to find a Mum then Debz
And plenty of practice at Baby making to see if I'm Healthy and my Heart can take it
Only take a minute don't it?
Or maybe I should take up baby sitting to see if I can handle the little Angels?
OMG......... lol had my last one 21 years ago and i am glad now that they are all grown up and i can have my life back....sorry that sounds really heartless.....dont think i have a maternal bone in my body....if you want practice babysitting you can have my 3 grandchildren for a night...maybe then you'll realise you are better off without.
sorry to be blunt - but isnt this just a case of wanting what you never had - stick with the no regrets thought!
my mum was 39 and dad 44 when i was born (i was the eldest) i did as i child think i missed out...not least because my mother died when i was 15...and i cant even begin to tell you what effect that had on an already bolshi teenage girl.
My dad was 47 when I was born and his dad was 49 when he was born. Generations kinda spread out in our family, but we coped.
I had a cousin and his wife who took over the upbringing of their grandson when they were in their mid-50s (a long story) and it nearly killed them at the time - but we've all survived!
lifes a bitch love! maybe thats why i have no maternal bones!
i suppose you should take the view that if you happened to meet the right person you will know if its the right thing to have children with them....if it happens then it happens and if it doesnt then you should have no regrets.
I've got very strong opinions on this one. Statistically as you get older the chances of life threatening disease, disability and death increase. There have been many medical advances but all sorts of things can go wrong in your 50s & 60s
My mum was 44 when I was born & my dad was 56. My dad's health broke down soon after I was born & he had to retire from work through ill health when I was 3....I don't have any memory of him not being ill. I'm not proud of this but I used to feel really embarrassed when kids from schools saw us in the street & asked if that was my grandad. Then he died when I was 11
4 months before he died my mother had her first heart attack. She had several more becoming a bit more disabled with each one. I was her carer between ages 11 to 14. I knew she was going to die & walked home from school every day wondering what would face me when I got through the door. Then she did die when I was 14 - I was home alone with her and had to cope on my own. It was clear her death was agonising
My childhood did have good bits but overall it was shite, and it ended very early. Like kwakgirl says, the effect on an angst-ridden, embittered teenage girl is indescribable
I loved them and I'll never stop missing my parents, but I defintely missed out on so much and was green with envy at my friends.
I couldn't share my own achievements and show them my own babies when they started coming along. It made me tough and incredibly independent but I think my adult life has been blighted
The thought of becoming parents at an advanced age has no romance for me at all
I have never wanted children,so therefore never did.
I totally agree with Minnie's post, it must be hard for youngsters to loose parents.
I am 54 now and must admit I still dont think i am mature or responsable enough to be a parent,,, yes I may have missed out on some things but they say what you never have you never miss.
The plus side for me is that I have always been able to live my life my way and not have to worry about and consider any offspring.
From what I have noticed with friends over the years it seems a very hard job to raise children so to all those mothers and fathers out there Well Done and respect to you all...
thanks Minnie for putting into words exactly what i thought! you are right it blights you and gives you a slightly different view of life.
i didnt have the caring issue. my mam died very quickly and dad died when i was 27 although my younger brother was "caring" for him for the last year ..... i think it affected my brother badly even tho he was in his early 20's by then.
Good Morning.
I am presently a 24/7 carer for my mother (74) and step father (75). I've only been so for 18 months now but even at 50 myself, i emotionally struggle coping with the very obvious emotional and physical pain they are in, as i myself look my own mortality squarely in the face, accepting theirs is less of an issue.
I awake each morning and silently wait with breath held for proof that they have done so, knowing that each day brings the day that they don't either awaken or last the day to regain sleep once again, that little bit closer. My hearts bleeds for you that have had to do this at such an early age, i'm not sure how i could or if i could, do this as a teenager.
The mental and physical isolation is crushing but, through my life, i have coped with certain past pains by becoming quite the hermit, so that helps but as a more out going teenager, this loneliness would be too painful.
I had never considered how the age of a parent could impact on a child but have been made more aware of it due to this thread, so thank you for posting/starting it.
I think as others do, that the emotional, physical and financial stability of the potential parent is more important than their age and although age brings the opportunity of an experience leaned wisdom, it is certainly not a prerequisite for it. If financially stable, it would then be the cogs within the machine of the parental wisdom to set in motion the after care needed to nurse them in to their latter years.
Best regards, warm wishes and the hopes for wisdom to all parents out there of any age...
..icey
Three marriages, 5 kids.
25 when i had my first who is now 32 and in the RAF.
44 when i had my daughter (by my third wife) and my daughter is now 13 and loves her Dad. (Real daddy's girl)
My daughter happened after I had had the snip some years ago during my second marriage, things knitted back up which also happens.
Point being that I have had kids from a fair span of ages in my life and i love them all dearly, not always easy as their problems often become mine but we deal with things as a family and overcome.
I get to go to the pub with my boys and jelly and ice-cream parties with my daughter, although now tends to be Frankie and Bennies, TFI Fridays etc as she is getting older.
I think this pushes me to look after myself/ourselves a lot more as we are trying not to become a burden to the kids and approach later years kicking and screaming, not sink into old age as my parents did.
So I think that so long as you are fit and healthy, your never too old to have kids but bear in mind that the life you had where you can do what you like, when you like, will change quite dramatically.
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