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General Chat/Anything Goes

Come on, London bikers, anyone out there?

Come on, London bikers, anyone out there? - Forums [Biker Match] Come on, London bikers, anyone out there? - Forums [Biker Match]
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Come on, London bikers, anyone out there?

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Or are you all a figment of my imagination? I am the blind guy in West London who has been private messaging bikers in London over the last several weeks, looking at the profiles from the birthday list on the events page of this site, asking if anyone is around to take me a ride on the back of their bike. I must have messaged around 30 or 40 people but have not had a single reply. I am getting more and more downhearted by the day. Yes, Ragnar No 1 has taken me on his Honda a couple of times, but he has his own life and schedule and can't do it on a regular basis. I am looking to meet bikers and make new biker mates, but how can I if people won't even return my messages? If you read this forum and particularly the Newbies forum everyone welcomes you with open arms and says how friendly everybody is, but I have yet to see this. I feel totally and completely segregated and I know it is because I am blind. I understand one or two of you might not take pillions, and some are new to biking, but surely there must be a few of you who could give it a go? I'm not asking for much - just to majke new friends who I could go out with from time to time, and if there were 2 ofr 3 of you then it would be great. Will this plea on this forum have any effect? I do hope so as I'm getting a bit desperate. Thanks for reading and I hope to have one or two private messages soon. Steve

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alfarogers @ 12/09/2012 13:08  

Steve for some reason or other the South has always been the same there are a few members that want to get meets and rides going but most just dont or wont bother. I really hope you get some response from your post. All the best jpharley Midlands events team

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JP @ 12/09/2012 14:22  

steve and jp i think the problem lies with a large % of site members down south have problems reading and writting lol

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baza 2458 @ 12/09/2012 14:54  

Steve, London is the capital of England but doesnt seem to be with BM, Spoke to members who say not much going on with meets and ride outs? On a note I have just been on events page to look at birthdays as you do, looked at random 43 birthdays and out of that there was 1 who had logged in this week, 2 who logged in last 2 weeks 40 who had not logged on for 3 weeks, I knew someone who had not logged in for 2 years but profile still said 3 weeks. It may be better to get out to meets and events in your area and at least you will get to meet members in person. Once you meet in person I'm sure you will get local riders to offer you a pilly ride.

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Sweeny Todd @ 12/09/2012 15:41  

I don't think literacy is the problem Bazza I think it's lack of sociablity or the requisite social skills Maybe the vast majority of southern members only join to get laid They do seem to have their own little "cliques" for rideouts And I suspect they use the site to find out what's on where & when Maybe making new friends isn't high on their priority list Or maybe they are all painfully shy Living in large conerbations seriously reduces peoples sociablity Some folk dont even speak to or know their neighbours So setting out to meet a bunch of strangers must be quite a traumatic prospect But if they don't know by now about the friendliness of the BM "family" Then I fear there is little or no hope for their biking future I also think that there are a preponderance of "owners" down south What I call "hobby" bikers Not serious "riders"who have a life which revolves around the bike/s which are almost one of the family I'll most likely get some flack for posting this but it is after all only "my opinion" I think I'm entitled to that at least If anyone takes serious objection to it, then they have extremely thin skin and low tolerance levels Just get out on your bikes you southerners Go meet some other bikers who you've not met before Modern bikes can get you to most places in the UK in a day You may well be pleasantly surprised with the experience The worst thing that can happen is that you don't like the folk you meet (unlikely) But the ride there and back should make the effort worthwhile Ride on ride free

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Emzed @ 12/09/2012 15:57  

Southerners are reserved by nature, it doesn't mean they are ignorant or anti-social. Not all Northern folk are sociable, least not in my experience. Of the members you contacted Steve, how many had not been on line for a long while? That may be the reason you didn't get a reply? No offence, but there aren't many blokes who would take another bloke as pillion and not because you're blind.

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Sandi @ 13/09/2012 10:17  

Thanks for all your replies. To answer two questions that you asked: (i) being totally blind, getting to rallies and ride outs and meetings is the problem. Like you say, I am sure that once there I could meet and talk to bikers and almost certainly get a pilly ride home. But it is getting there - even on a train, how do I get to the actual meeting place when I can't see where I'm going? And secondly, most of the people have not been on-line for ages. But I have my computer set up that if somebody on BikerMatch sends me a private message, my e-nmail set up tells me so. Does this not happen with anyone else, or do people never read their e-mails? And what is the problem with a bloke taking another bloke pillion, for goodness sake? Men go in cars with another man, so why on earth not on a motorbike? Perhaps you're right, but it sounds ridiculous to me. Sorry, no offence intended. But it all boils down to the same thing - how can I make new friends if other people won't make any effort with me? Steve

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alfarogers @ 13/09/2012 17:13  

Hey that'll do it guys insult and take the piss out of people that'll really be the way to inspire peeps to get to meets and the like etc. I'd guess we are all on this site for our own reasons, and that is our own choice, is'nt it? Me? apart from having to work 50/60 hours a week did'nt get home wednsday night till nine after starting at 8am yes thats right a 13 hour day most of it sat on my arse on a bike and having commitments at home i doand will get to what i can when i can when I WANT TO. Yes i was hoping to find like minded souls on here both male and female, but aint yet.Had intended to be at the 2nd KISS rally but got let down by tyre supplier and did'nt fancy doing 300 mile round trip on shot tyre. (which incidently i finished of doing 1800 mile round trip to Scotland the other week so i guess you could say i do a few miles on my bike especially as i ride one for a living well someone has to otherwise the offensive muppets who work in various offices would'nt have anyone to look down their nose at during the day, oh yes they do!!!) Am constantly coming across signs in various offices such as couriers cannot use these toilets, couriers must remove helmets before entering building, for security apparently, and of course they'd ask a muslim to remove their headgear? lol yea right. Delivered to Aviva head office i think it was in sunny Hampshire just the other day big signs on glass doors as you walk in COURIERS REMOVE HELMETS BEFORE ENTERING. Anyway i am going of track here sorry. But if peeps dont wanna meet ya's then lifes a bitch dont cry deal with it. I'm of for a lay down now oh and just for the record just because i live in Londinium it dont mean i'm from here.....................................

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Deleted Member @ 15/09/2012 10:15  

...And what is the problem with a bloke taking another bloke pillion, for goodness sake? Men go in cars with another man, so why on earth not on a motorbike? It's been mentioned, in previous threads, that taking a male pillion wouldn't feel right because it's a bit more up close and personal than travelling in a car. Also mentioned was the fact that most blokes ride their own bike so make lousy, sometimes interfering, pillions. Back seat riders so to speak.

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Sandi @ 15/09/2012 10:23  

i may get slaughtered for this but here goes. Alfarogers, in an earlier post you mention your sexuality in connection with leathers and bike gear. this may make a lot of guys nervous about the percieved intimacy of taking a stranger pillion. i am not defending them or slating them as everyone has the right to their own opinions but i do fear you may have inadvertantly shot yourself in the foot there.
As for southerners lacking the requisite social skills, and then siting intolerance to deflect any criticism i think everybody is on here for their own reasons. the people who want to get out and meet each other do so, and those who want to socialise through a monitor will do just that. there are no prerequisites to totaly immerse youself in the ethos of the site. i took this site to be a social networking site, not somewhere to get laid, there are cheaper and more effective sites for that side of life. i live in the heart of kent, between two of the finest and most popular motorcycling roads in kent and trust me kent motorcyclists do get out and ride, they just don't organise it all through here.
Just for balance i am not native to kent, i moved here from a friendlier county and have my own issues with the natives but i do feel some of the comments made were a tad unfair.

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xj @ 15/09/2012 23:25  

I think, well know that there are groups who have met on here and now have there own little groups who regularly ride together....

It is a lot of responsibility for someone to take on a pillion let alone a blind pillion, it not a personal attack, but biking especially for the weekend warriors is a stress release, a chance to get out free from all the responsibility of life and I fear that taking on the responsibility of you as a pillion might not seem too attractive to most.

However as with all things bikers have the biggest hearts out there and I'm sure if you persevere there will be someone down there who will take you out...

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Deleted Member @ 16/09/2012 12:15  

alfarogers I live up in Cumbria and came on bm originally looking for someone to go pillion with in my local area I haven't ever really found that in over 2 years. I've had pillion rides but had to travel to other areas of the country, and I know that isn't an easy option for you People have profiles local to me but they just don't want to interact....same with finding someone to ride out with me on local roads now I'm a learner with my own motorcycle I've found a great bunch of people up in the north now but it was through meeting and socialising at bm events, and it's taken a damn long time.....don't give up

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Minnie the Minx @ 16/09/2012 15:05  

Alfarogers don't give up hope. It's a big weird and wonderful world, something, somewhere will turn up.
I think one of the reasons guys don't like taking guys pillion is the weight issue and the effect that has on the handling of a bike.
And before you all start I know there are some feather weight men and some heavy weight women but I'm generalising.
Personally I don't like the responsibility of taking pillions. Having another soul on the bike means I get over-caution and end up holding caravans, tractors etc.

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Steve_H @ 16/09/2012 17:35  

hi alf hope u dont mind if i shorten your name .. i started to read the previouse posts , but was a bit to indepth for me , if you want i can pick u up on the back of my bike and take you to my school .. you can either come out with me on a lesson and listen to how its done , or stay in the training area and ride a bike on your own , we can fit you with radios so we can talk you through whats infront of you (be your eyes) ... wot do you think ?? buzz

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buzz_sp1 @ 16/09/2012 18:08  

WOW

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JP @ 16/09/2012 18:44  

Alpha,
I've read your messages, and also all the replies to you, and feel I have to respond as well.

Firstly, everything we do in life cuts 2 ways, and from what I can gather from your words, is that all the messaging you have done has been for the ultimate benefit of yourself. Apart from those messages, I haven't seen you active anywhere else on the site, joining in the forums, offering support in other ways to peeps on here....whether it's information you have to help someone, or something you could possibly do for others. Although these things are not expected, it's what BM'ers do for each other, coming as it does as part of a team.

Put yourself in the shoes of those you messaged. Had you received a request such as yours, from someone you'd not even heard of, let alone met, or had communications with, or if you were weighed down with life's responsibilities, such as the many mentioned on here....you may be cautious or incommunicado too.... I know I would be. but had I seen or communicated with you in the forums, and got to 'know' you a little more, then maybe it would be different.
What I said about it being a 2 way thing is important. Bikers are not taxis!!!!, so what's wrong with you arranging a taxi or a lift to a biker meeting place simply to get to know some of the peeps first? Make an effort!!!!

As for this following statement of yours:
'I feel totally and completely segregated and I know it is because I am blind'
I think it is totally out of order to say that, and I for one strongly object and am dammed annoyed that you use it. Know instead that it is your attitude - on here at least - which causes you to say this, not, as you imply the members here.
And before you say anything to that, just know that I have a disability too, which badly affects my mobility a good 60 % or more of the time to the point where I can't stand up/walk/be independent/ and experience severe pain 24/7.
I have only told you this so that you are aware others here suffer difficulties too, whatever they are. You are not special, just individual, with individual needs, just like the rest of us.

I used to ride my own bike, but cannot now due to reasons I've mentioned, but in getting out to meets - one way or another - I've connected with people, had fun, been in the company of bikers and their bikes, been able to do things for others that are in no way connected to biking, but has been important to them, and most importantly made amazing friends for life.

And yes, I've been very lucky and privileged to have been offered a few pilly rides this year....but they have been from those wonderful friends I have made during my time on the site....not someone I've snapped my fingers at, and expected to come running.

THAT is what being a biker is about!

Ragnar has already taken you out, and I can see here that Buzz has made you a great offer too.
So don't you DARE call us figments of your imagination, or play on your disability.
We are all real people, with real lives dealing with all that comes with it....and you must deal with it too.

Harsh? possibly! Realistic ? Yes!

Regardless of what I've said here, I do wish you well, and from one bike lover to another.....

Good luck!


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Deleted Member @ 16/09/2012 19:15  

Wooooahhh PB, I think your little brain fart is a bit OTT to say the least!!!!


Why doesn't anyone ever stop to think how another member is feeling before shouting their mouth off on public forums!!!! Yes, we all have our opinions, but wouldn't it be much better to keep opinions in your head than air them to the masses and attack another member?????


Firstly, alfarogers is blind and so how the heck is he supposed to read all the forums and join in??? Yeah, he may have some help sometimes, but, on a regular basis like you make out PB, how the heck can he do it???
Ragnar kindly took alfarogers out on his bike a couple of times after i pm'd nearly every member in London area asking them to help in some way, and I'm well known and site staff and I only got 2 replies out of about 100 messages I sent!!!!!


I also have a disability, have had op's on my spine and cannot walk without taking loads of medication, and, like yourself am in pain 24/7, but I'm damned if it will stop me riding bikes!! I suppose it shows the difference from those who let their disabilities destroy their lives and those who don't!! Many BM members have disabilities, much worse than mine or yours and they still ride!!


Maybe alfarogers went about writing his messages the direct way, well, if you don't tell people what you want how are you supposed to achieve getting it?? But, if some strange guy just pm'd members out of the blue trying to make friends how many members would reply??? They would think he was after something more than friendship, at least he was making himself clear for the reason of his pm!!!!


Ragnar assured me that alfarogers is good as a pilly despite his blindness, a feat in itself that I envy his courage to go on the back of someone he hardly knows, not being able to see and ride pilly!!!! Gawd, takes a person with a damn lot of courage, imagine being blindfolded and put on a bike with a rider you don't know as their pilly??? Frightening doesn't come close..It's bad enough sometimes when you can see where you're going!!!!


So, may I ask that folk think before they comment in future or have brain farts on forums!!!




Buzz, you're a star as always, good on ya chuck!!!!


And, alfarogers, don't give up on BM, we are a good bunch really, maybe you could try asking folk with trikes, would be much easier for you to start and maybe get a few more to respond as they wouldn't find it so dangerous to take you on a trike instead of a bike!!!!


Friskney is coming up, maybe some nice BM member could offer alfarogers a lift there, by car if ya want so he can actually get to an event and start to meet people??? And guys, just because alfarogers is gay doesn't mean he wants to push his advances on the straight guys!!! Gawd get out of the 17th century please!!!!!!!

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wenders @ 17/09/2012 03:43  

wenders was that post a personal view or posted as a staff member? surely the idea of an open forum is for people to post their thoughts, any debate or discussion comprises of differing views and any attempt to censure that will result in very stilted forums and very few members. I took offence from the implied prejudice of the original post so is alfa guilty of the same transgression as pb? I don't think anyone has implied that alfa will be chatting up the straights, but without knowiing everyones sexualilty it is impossible to say why people are not responding. I think he maybe just getting the same response as everyone else, yourself include ( two out of a hundred) and may be struggling with it. I wish him, as everyone else on this site, luck in what he is looking for but to berate members for not responding isn't going to help him, and to suggest restrictions on what members can post in the interests of not upsetting anyone is a step in the wrong direction. Obviously hatred or denigration based on skin, creed, religion or orientation is wrong but i don't think that applies here, he is just subject to the same problems everyone else encounters.

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xj @ 17/09/2012 12:10  

phew! just read thru this thread.... Firstly well done Ragnar for bringing Steve to the meeting at the Cock Inn a few months ago. He was a great guy to chat too and I am sure if we could get him to a few bike meets he could make some new friends and perhaps get the pillion rides he craves. However, he is not of petite build and I can understand how riders might baulk at the tght of any person male or female on the pillion who is of generous solid proportions. Many bikes just wouldnt have the room anyway. (not to say he is grossly obese). Coupled that to the close up and personal nature of bike pillion. On top of that Steve does not as prev mentioned appear rugularly in the forums or chat because he has obv difficulties accessing them I guess? So if we are to help the guy as much as I sure we would then the only way fwd is to get him along to a camp weekend or something similar where he can meet and interact with other bikers. He may then get offered the pillion rides from someone with a suitable bike and a 'want to help' attitude. So......folks how do we help? I wouild be happy to take him out for a couple of hours sometime for one...lets see who else is nice enogh to offer too..

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rossoandy21 @ 17/09/2012 14:21  

Alpha's courage and ability to access the site was not the issue in my post. Rather his attitude towards gaining what he wants from others re bike ride outs.

With regards to the rather eloquently named 'brain farts' I take this first quote from Wenders below to be one as such :

I also have a disability, have had op's on my spine and cannot walk without taking loads of medication, and, like yourself am in pain 24/7, but I'm damned if it will stop me riding bikes!! I suppose it shows the difference from those who let their disabilities destroy their lives and those who don't!! Many BM members have disabilities, much worse than mine or yours and they still ride!!

My comments do not touch personally on the depth of Alpha's disability, as this does with mine here. As I said, we are individuals, with individual needs. However, I am so very, very glad for those with disabilities who continue to ride, and hope they always do.

The Second 'brain fart' alludes to this following quote, again from the same post as the previous quote:

And guys, just because alfarogers is gay doesn't mean he wants to push his advances on the straight guys!!! Gawd get out of the 17th century please!!!!!!!

Has anyone complained of this? No!

My post to Alpha was written to an adult of equal status to us all, and as before, I wish him well.



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Deleted Member @ 17/09/2012 17:42  

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