A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
"Dear Lord: <o:p></o:p>
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!" God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. <o:p></o:p>
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. <o:p></o:p>
Then, it was already 01P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. <o:p></o:p>
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. <o:p></o:p>
At 09 P.M . He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. <o:p></o:p>
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - <o:p></o:p>
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. <o:p></o:p>
Amen!" The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
<o:p></o:p>
A man sees a ladder with a note attached to it. He reads the letter " if you climb up this ladder, you will either seek success or encounter a beautiful woman to have fabulous sex with"
He thinks its worth a go climbing up the ladder so off he goes. Along the way he gets halfway up the ladder to see a beautiful naked woman waiting for him " would you like to make love to me or seek success?" she says. The guy responds " No thanks, i'd rather go to success" So he proceeds to climb up the ladder further until he sees a fat dude wearing stained clothing and has flies buzzing round him " who are you?" he asks the wretched guy
" I'm cess" the fat dude replies........
Think about it..... (bracing myself for missiles...)
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?" "I'm out of gas," the man replied.The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee.The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "what did you put in my gas tank"? The bee answered,
Wait for it.....
BP<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
(I see you smiling)<o:p></o:p><o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner but doesnt tell the kids what it is. He says he'll give them a clue, 'its what mummy calls me sometimes'. His 7 year old daughter screams 'Jimmy dont eat it! Its a f**king arsehole!'
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?""Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress.""Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce.""I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club.But the decision is yours."Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm."Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife."That's his mistress," says her husband."Ours is prettier," she replies.
STORY IN McDONALD? S <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking: "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink.The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. <o:p></o:p>
He placed one half in front of his wife.Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. "They were used to sharing everything." Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered, "THE TEETH"<o:p></o:p>
![Jokes.....Over 18s only!!!!!... (4) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![Jokes.....Over 18s only!!!!!... (4) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
