Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This is an excellent day to dare. Dare to eat a peach. Dare to wear your trousers rolled, and walk along the beach. Dare to be different. That sort of thing.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You'll find more, and very "interesting", uses for cocktail umbrellas today.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to take up crime fighting, as a hobby. First, make yourself a really awesome leotard and cape, and maybe some sort of unusual headgear. That's how most of them get started.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Unaccountably, everything you eat will remind you of wild hickory nuts. This is the first sign of Gibbon's Syndrome, and you should seek immediate medical attention. You don't want to end up getting arrested for eating your neighbour's shrubbery...
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes do too mix. (Tip #12 of Arnold Pinknobble's "How To Get Noticed.")
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you're typing!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
As a joke, you will hold up a certain air freshener in a bank, today, and announce "this is a Stick Up!". Later, you'll have time to reflect upon the regrettable fact that law enforcement officials are sadly lacking in a sense of humor.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A new love affair will have you all misty-eyed. Either that, or it's the onset of glaucoma, in which case you should seek immediate medical attention.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Beware! The Celestial Jade Emperor may banish you to the Big Grumpy Place if you don't start paying more attention to the four Winds. Obviously, this is a metaphor, somehow involving Cleveland.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss' IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of "Titanic II".
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! I'm often tempted to do that, but I just can't figure out where "there" is -- every time I get there, it's here. Maybe if I run really fast? Oh well, if you figure it out, be sure to make a difference.
![Your Horoscope for today 12 November - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![Your Horoscope for today 12 November - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
